So this is a totally useless rant, but as a skinny girl, I’m getting extra, extra tired of fat-shaming.
I work for a corsetier at a Renaissance Faire. We sell corsets. Not flimsy bullshit costume corsets; like real, durable, waist-training corsets. Today a woman came in with her boyfriend, so I helped her pick out a corset and try it on. While her boyfriend—who was decidedly enthused about the whole corset thing—sat watching me lace her in, he told me, grinning, “Of all the good jobs at the Renaissance Faire, I think you have the best.”
I shrugged in agreement. “I touch butts and reach down cleavage all day; I mean…” Because we like to be a bit rakish at the Faire, and, y’know, it’s true. Tying people into corsets pretty much invariably requires getting handsy.
The couple laughed at that, and the boyfriend said, “That’s the job I would want!” But then he chuckled again and said, offhand, “Or maybe not; while we were looking at the racks, there were some pretty big sizes on there!”
Our sizes are all done in inches, and the biggest we make is a 46. And you’d better believe our large sizes sell. For a second I wasn’t sure what to say to the guy’s comment, but I answered him casually. “We get a lot of beautiful big ladies in here.” Because we do. “We make corsets for real women, not Barbie dolls,” I added. Wasn’t trying to be smart, just kind of tossed it out there because that’s the line we like to use when people ask about larger sizes, and because, again, we do.
The boyfriend went quiet at that; I didn’t think anything of it, I just kept on lacing. A moment later, he said, a little awkwardly (but sincerely enough), “Didn’t mean to be offensive.”
I quickly smiled and brushed it off, said he wasn’t, said I was just saying. (Don’t want to make the customers uncomfortable, you know?) And that was the end of it. His comment had rubbed me the wrong way, but it wasn’t a big deal. Now, I wear a 20-inch corset. I’m a few cup sizes short of being one of the Barbie dolls. Like his girlfriend, I’m one of the “hot chicks”; he doesn’t have to worry about offending me by implying that I wouldn’t be fun to poke and pull at.
Honestly though, of all the people I fit sexy technically-undergarments to in a day, fat girls are maybe my favorite people to lace up. Because they are just so damn happy that we have stuff that fits them. They are so damn happy that the corsets we make in their sizes are all the same pretty, shiny colors and cool flower/dragon/skull/etc. prints that the smaller corsets are, not ugly beige and boring “granny” colors. They are so goddamn happy that at least one (of several on the grounds) corset shop carries things that they can wear, that they actually want to wear, and that they look fucking awesome in. This is only my second season working, and we’ve fit 60+ inch waists and double-K busts. The only people we’ve ever had to tell sorry, we don’t have anything that fits them, are twelve-year-old kids.
It’s half-wonderful, half-heartbreaking how excited those women get. Women who say with sad smiles, when we ask if they want to get fitted, “Oh, no, you don’t have anything that fits me,” and then are stunned when we’re 300% confident that yes we do, and we have options. Women who can’t stop smiling and looking at themselves in the mirror after we’ve got them laced in.
I had a lady last week whose waist I measured (cinching the tape tight, as per procedure) at 41 inches—honestly not all that big. So she picked out a 41-inch corset to try on. I could tell halfway through getting her laced that it was going to be a bit big for her, so I mentioned it and said she might do better to try a smaller size. She started crying on the spot. She was so overwhelmed; she couldn’t believe someone had just told her that a 41 was too big. She told me about how hard clothes shopping was for her, how her mother would tell her she needed an XXXL instead of an XXL, how she had recently lost weight but still couldn’t wear certain colors because they didn’t fit or she wasn’t confident enough.
She did end up getting her corset, and after I checked her out she asked if she could give me a hug, so we ended up standing there hugging each other for a minute. While we did, I told her, “Do not ever let anyone tell you any bullshit. You are gorgeous.” She said, “I have a new boyfriend and he keeps telling me that.” I told her he was right, and to just keep telling herself she’s gorgeous; it was okay if she didn’t always believe it, but to keep telling herself anyway. (That’s how I talked myself through shit when I had bad anxiety.)
We all know fat-shaming is bad. The stupidity, fatphobia, and misogyny of it has pissed me off since I first became aware of it. But working with clothing, especially as figure-hugging and precise as corsets, has given me a new perspective on it—how much it affects people and just how shitty it is. Like, what does it say that I had a grown, only average-big woman crying into my shoulder because she was so overjoyed not to be the uppermost extremity of what a manufacturer can clothe?
My job rocks and it’s really rewarding, but sometimes it highlights some of the ugliest shit about society. I’m so glad I work at a shop that’s not bullshit about body types and operates with more people in mind than just scrawny white chicks like me. The fat women I work with are a ton of fun to lace up, and they’re so much more than their size—they’re cool, they’re smart, they’re funny, they’re sweet, they’re great to talk to, and yes, they’re hot. I’m so damn done with them getting short-changed and shamed by petty fucks who refuse to make them nice clothes, who refuse to even try to work for them, who refuse to consider them pretty. This whole rant was useless and won’t get read, but I had to vent because it’s been driving me nuts.
So actually, screw you, random dude. Fat girls are the highlight of my job.
If you’re reading this: this is your sign that your WIP is worth writing, is worth the effort, and that you are doing great. Keep going, take breaks, reflect. But do not lose sight of how far you’ve come on this project! You can do it!
On the other side of the dressy scale there was a 7 months pregnant lawyer sitting on the floor at IAD
At O’Hare there was a lawyer who was about five minutes away from giving birth sitting there in her sweatpants with a sign that said “I’m a lawyer and I speak Hindi/Urdu”. Just her and her sign and supersized tea from McDonalds.
I’ll say it again. MOSTLY WOMEN.
Why does their being mostly women matter?
Because, statistically speaking, 64% of lawyers in the United States are men, meaning that the majority of the demographic showing up should reflect this. It is also interesting to note that only 27% of American born lawyers are female- that means that a lot of these women are likely immigrants or foreign born. We have a majority of women showing up in a field where they are a minority; women who dropped everything to help defend human rights and the country. There’s no cis-male equivalency to pregnancy, but if you fail to see the importance and stength of a woman who might feasibly go into labour at any second still standing up for what is right and good whilst the majority of politicians are cowering, then I can’t help you.
“I have been working non-stop for three
days and I have not made a penny,” [said a female lawyer who had been at a Texas airport and asked not to be quoted by name]. A friend, who is a male
immigration lawyer, went on vacation over the weekend, she said, because
he felt it wouldn’t be lucrative. “Male immigration lawyers look at
this and say ‘This is not a business opportunity for me,’” she said.
So… my wheelchair can’t be repaired & Medicaid won’t pay for a new one bc I’m ambulatory. Pretty much if you can walk at all, they won’t help. So. Yeah.
If you can help, that’s great. Boosting is also very helpful. Thanks. 💜
I literally did not believe this was a real thing until I just tried it.
Holy cow.
I have spent the last two weeks increasingly irritated with (what has seemed to me) the dramatically alarmist attitude about the shit that’s going down with tumblr but….damn.
Like, I still don’t think it’s over. I still don’t think this is the end. But that’s a far larger speed bump that I anticipated. Tumblr, what the fuck.
“Dick pic” is also gone. “Pictures of dicks” gets you Dick Grayson.
“Fuck” and “fuck off” will get blogs with those word in the description, but no posts.
Several slurs are gone – fag, slut, whore; probably others. “Dyke” is still in, though, as well as “fag hag.” (I’m aware that whether or not those are slurs depends on the community.)
This is a sign of a platform that Does Not Care about its users. Not because they’re blocking terms they’ve decided are offensive or connected with illegal activity – because they won’t tell you that some terms can’t be searched, won’t tell you why the posts have been removed from search, won’t let you know whether or how your blog will be affected.
Chronic pain, as mentioned, is gone. “Pain” gets this result:
Followed by normal search results. (Note: 7 Cups of Tea, at least, is a commercial site; the “trained active listeners” are random users who’ve completed a few questionnaires.)
@thebibliosphere Joy joy joy joy joy…. If your wondering about a sudden slow down on your traffic
My traffic hasn’t slowed down because I use my own tag for my chronic health stuff, though a couple of my posts about chronic pain are gone.
Other than that my nsfw stuff is still intact. This purge has been random as all hell.
The fact that it’s been over a week and they haven’t even addressed the many many unfairly deactivated blogs is pissing me right off.
I highly doubt at this point that I’m getting my blog back at all. Despite the fact that my only crime was to write a lot about having chronic pain and what it was like to live like that
Also of fucking course one of the blocked tags is the one discussing their screw up
I’m feeling very bitter at the moment
If it’s anything like the mass censorship LJ started employing, then I very much doubt this is even the tip of the iceberg, or that they’ll make it a priority to restore unfairly banned blogs.
Meanwhile I continue to block upwards of 50 pornbot blogs a week from my follower list, and I can’t turn my inbox back on because it winds up with a bunch of neo-nazis sending me suicide bait.
But sure. Deleting my posts about being disabled is helping. Thanks Tumblr.
i don’t understand what’s being said. you can type ‘chronic pain’ in the search box and get results. is there some other thing that’s being blocked? i know absolutely none of my posts are showing up in tags now, even though my blog is not set to nsfw.
Some are showing and some are not, several of my posts are just gone. I spent hours going through my archive manually looking for them and I knew were to look cause I keep track of my chronic illness posts for reference purposes.
Several of my friends who blog about their chronic illnesses and conditions have had their blogs straight up deleted. The reason they were given was for talking about chronic pain.
The reason for this is unclear, but there’s some thoughts that it might be because the word “chronic” used to be/is slang for weed and they’re somehow trying to crack down on drug use or something. Heck only knows though. All I know is tumblr used to have one of the best spoonie/chronic health issue communities online and a lot of folk are either gone or their posts are.
I might believe that @thebibliosphere about the “chronic” tag, but the tags “cocaine”, “meth”, and “weed” all still work so its not a drug issue