Tag: queer things

aphobes-heck-off:

lesbiangender:

lesbiangender:

lesbiangender:

lesbiangender:

the really amazing part of all this is a few years ago I was an ~~exclusionist~~ with bad arguments and bad opinions and I’m general just a bad attitude.

then I grew up and learned some compassion and empathy.

I fell into a trap. I thought if I espoused the same beliefs as people who hated asexuals, I would be One of the Good Ones and they would want me.

I was wrong.

how much self-loathing did I carry around because of this? how much of my experiences and feelings did I push aside because people on this website told me none of them were real? How much damage was done by having it harassed into me that none of the prejudice or problems I’d experienced for being asexual…. didn’t happen?

My first girlfriend rejected my asexuality with disgust. Told me I was wrong, took it as an insult, accused me of thinking she was ugly…. and yes. pressured me into sex I didn’t want. Over and over again. She made me feel guilty for being ace and then abused me for it.

And I spent years on this website not only being told none of this happened, or if it did it had nothing to do with my asexuality, but then repeating that ad nauseum. What does that do to a 18/19 year old recovering from an abusive relationship?

How much of my recovery was hindered by the acecourse tee-em?

the worst was probably the idea I internalized that I couldn’t be asexual and gay. Or that being ace made me basically straight.

Your discourse is poisonous to lgbt people. Your rhetoric harms victims of sexual violence. Your stupid petty arguing is hurting people and all you people care about is whether hypothetical cisgender hetroromantic asexuals should be allowed in hypothetical lgbt hangouts you probably don’t even go to anyway.

I’m sorry you went through all this, but I’m glad you’ve grown and healed ❤️

Invisibility is Not a Privilege.

a-spec-tacular:

Invisibility means every person you come out to requires a vocabulary lesson.

Invisibility means the very nature of your identity is up for debate.

Invisibility means years feeling alone, broken, and unnatural.

Invisibility means you might not even consider the possibility that you’re anything but what society says you can be.

Invisibility means you have to find out about your own identity from strangers in small, distant corners of the internet.

Invisibility means being taught in school that your orientation makes you inhuman.

Invisibility means being told by educated professionals that your orientation is pathological, a mental illness, and Must Be Fixed.

Invisibility means taking an extra year to convince yourself that your orientation could even exist before you even beginning to accept yourself as what you are.

Invisibility means coming up with an arsenal of excuses for your lack of Normality, an army of justifications for living a life that makes you just a little more comfortable.

Invisibility means “acceptance” comes at the price of breaking up and stuffing away the things that make you you, and struggling to force yourself into a hole that doesn’t fit.

Invisibility means forcing yourself into relationships and acts that you don’t want because the alternative is taboo.

Invisibility means you can never really tell them who you are.

Invisibility means you can’t even feel pride in your community half the time, because the world is intent on destroying what little of a community there is.

Invisibility means facing a world of people who would have you bow your head and let them rewrite your identity for you; who demand your complacence while they redefine the things that make you who you are.

Invisibility means your suffering doesn’t even matter to those supposedly fighting to End All Suffering.

Invisibility means shame.

Invisibility means denial.

Invisibility means loneliness.

Invisibility is not a privilege.

a-polite-melody:

How many times does this need to be said?

Asexuality doesn’t mean “doesn’t fuck”. It doesn’t mean “doesn’t like sex” or “thinks sex is dirty” or, worst I’ve seen at this point “can’t get their dick up”.

Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction.

Not a lack of libido or sex drive. Not a lack of sex-positivity. Not a lack of the physiological processes that cause erections, tenting, production of vaginal lubrication, or other things of that nature.

Can asexual people feel or have a lack of those things? Sure.

Do they all? No. Are they defined by those? No.

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction. That’s it. Stop saying this shit to try to give a “hot take” or make asexuality out to be something it’s not to be easier to get people to exclude it.

You’re right and you should say it.

acebythecards:

discovering your orientation is like untangling yarn. it takes a while to sort out, is frustrating, and depending on what identities there are identities there, along with how large they affect you, it could take a long time.

sometimes, you’ll find yourself with some pieces knotted together so tight, that you have no choice but to cut them apart. this can damage what you are severely, but it can be mostly fixed by tying the matching pieces back together.

when you finally untangle one color from the rest, it is such a wonderful experience. you have successfully cleared part of the confusion, and now have less to sort through.

eventually, you’ll have it all sorted out. each yarn is rolled into neat individual balls, and with them you can create something beautiful, which you can choose to share with others, or choose to keep to yourself.

maybe someday you’ll find someone (whether it be a good friend, datemate, or soulmate) you want to make something beautiful together with, and integrate both of your yarns together to create something bigger.