Asexual Awareness Week Fandom Challenge 2018 – Day 1

So this is late but I really want to do the thing.

Sunday October 21st: Post about canonically asexual spectrum characters, and/or what you would like to see in future asexual representation.

The character that comes to mind is Raphael Santiago from Shadowhunters. And god, I can’t even begin to explain what he means to me. This is the first canon ace character I’ve ever had in any of my fandoms.

And his character made me realize that I’m actually ace (rather than demi) because of his relationship with Isabelle Lightwood. As problematic as it is, it was representation I didn’t realize I desperately needed.

Isabelle is an obviously sex positive allo but when Raphael comes out to her, she doesn’t try to fix him. She completely accepts his sexuality and is shown to be supportive.

Later, she even says that their relationship was unlike any of her past relationships because of Raphael’s asexuality.

And it made me realize that part of what had been keeping me from identifying as ace was that I was scared I would end up alone. That no one would want to be with me if I didn’t want a sexual relationship. Or it would be unfulfilling because someone would always be compromising or wanting. But seeing Isabelle be so supportive and accepting of Raphael’s sexuality gave me hope that there are people out there that would still want a relationship with me because they cared about me. And having that…I can’t even put it into words. It means so much. I finally feel comfortable identifying as ace because of Raphael and his relationship with Izzy and her acceptance. I’m afraid that without that, I would still be feeling incredibly lonely and unsure of myself; like there wasn’t a place for me anywhere.

Shameless self plug of my ace positivity Rizzy gifset.

As for what I would like to see in the future as far as ace rep goes…just more of it tbh. Since realizing I’m ace, I’ve found out that even just within the ace identity, it varies greatly. There are aces that have and enjoy sex. There are some that don’t and are repulsed by sex. And some are just indifferent to it. Another big stumbling block for me in realizing I’m ace was that I have had sex and enjoyed it. Yeah, I’d seen posts about how you can be ace and have/had sex. But I didn’t think you could enjoy it and be ace. And so I thought that because I had once enjoyed sex with my then boyfriend, I couldn’t possibly be ace when otherwise, I’m really quite repulsed by the idea of having sex. But I also feel like, given the right person and the right romantic relationship, I could maybe enjoy a sexual relationship. (Something else I’ve figured out through writing Raphael/Isabelle fic and developing HCs. Self projection whomst?) I also really enjoy physical contact(i.e. Cuddling, kissing, etc) with the right person and for some reason I had it in my head that aces are all touch repulsed. So, honestly I would really just love a more diverse spectrum of ace characters in media that highlights all of these differences? Because maybe if I’d had that representation years ago, I wouldn’t have spent such a long time feeling broken/weird/strange.

And that got real personal, real quick. Sorry guys I have a lot of feels.